I've got mail! Hell yeah!

I just ate a rabbit's head, and I discovered that having a rabbit's head in my mouth is not a good look for me. But enough about experiments with Easter chocolate...

I caused outrage and barely contained hysteria among my friends this week by deleting my facebook account. I say 'deleting' but my data's all still there, squirrelled away somewhere for the British government to use against me if I ever show signs of being liberal or wanting to blow things up. Oh and when I say 'outrage' and 'hysteria' I mean that one or two people noticed I'd left and were a little surprised, maybe even raised their eyebrows or something. 

My reasons for quitting Ye Olde Book of Faces are complex, but the straw that broke the camel's back was the new Twitter-style thing going on all of a sudden. There's a reason I'm not on Twitter (it's pants) so imagine my disgust when facebook seemed to be jumping on the bandwagon. Also, lack of privacy, data stealing and stalking are not cool. I'm starting to sound like one of my whiny customers, but despite all this I'll probably be back on it when I get over myself. 

I'm still on German facebook, which is pretty crap too. There's this thing which is a cheap imitation of poking, called 'gruscheln'. Noone has a clue what it's supposed to be. Some random gruscheled me the other week so on the off-chance that I knew him (everyone uses pseudonyms on there) I looked at his page and it was just some asshole on a racing bike. There was no other info about him, just this pic of him (or someone he wants to be) racing around in skin-tight lycra on this gay bike. Whatever.

So yeah, I'm happily receiving emails now instead (sometimes "Gay Man on Bike has just gruscheled you. Check it out!" No thanks.). If I feel really melodramatic one day maybe I'll wave goodbye to the internet altogether and just write people letters and send carrier pigeons. It'll be a few years before that could ever happen though. And only if more racing cyclists gruschel me until I'm thoroughly pissed off.

Speaking of pissed off, work was really amazing again last week. What amazed me most was how dumb people can be. And animals. First of all we had this complaint from an old lady. Nothing special about that - but when we tried to call her back she had no recollection of ever having made the complaint (just a few hours before in fact) and claimed she had been in hospital for the last three weeks. Yeah, that'll be right, getting her head checked I suppose. Then on the second attempt she said she was with her carer right now and then hung up. I can't bloody wait for the third attempt. No doubt she will suddenly be completely lucid and recall every detail about the conversation from last week. 

Then there was the lady who called because she was ordering a pump for her washing up liquid bottle. Nothing special about that - but she was ordering a new one because her dog ate the other one. Yeah. Technically I don't think we should have had to supply her with a new one as she kind of still had the other one. It just wasn't that accessible...

On that note I'm going to retire and prepare my nerves for another week of lunatics. Otherwise I'll end up like the demented lady.